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Taking a Step Out of My Bubble and Into the World

I’m happiest in my own comfort zone. The little bubble that surrounds me and protects me from the unknown dangers of new things. I guess I do occasionally try things like that one time where I tried to learn to play the guitar or speak french. I mean I can play a few songs on the guitar and say a few things in french so it wasn’t a complete waste of my time, but I didn’t stick to them. As soon as it became too much for me, I stopped. Always making excuses such as it is too much to handle for me in between school and university.

Who isn’t scared to try new things? I know I definitely am, but I’m working on that. I’ve always been all for trying new foods but not much more than that. So now I’m trying new hairstyles … for about 6 years of my life, I had the same hairdo… long, think and most of the time bushy. After that, I decided to cut it all off! Well, not all off, just up to my shoulders but that was a big change for me! Other than my hair I am trying new styles of clothes, going to new places, being more outgoing in social situations (which I must say is one of the hardest things for me to do).

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I’ve even got a job! Okay, it’s just a part-time student job which I haven’t even started yet (but it’s still something). Building up the courage to actually apply for this job (tutoring) took me about two weeks. The phone number just lay under my contact list and every few days I would open the contact, look at it and it would just stare right back. Eventually, I just went for it! I contacted the tutoring service and received an instant reply to email them my CV (which is what I did). A day or two later I was already meeting with them, and every minute since I got the message to meet them was filled with stress and anxiety. Regret was running through my head as I wished I had never applied for this job because if I hadn’t then I wouldn’t be feeling this way! Thankfully they are used to dealing with students and so our meeting was informal (which was really helpful in my state of mind). The next day I received a message saying that there was a grade 7 learner in my area that needed tutoring for English, Afrikaans and mathematics, naturally, I accepted. Soon after accepting, another wave of stress and anxiety hit me! This time I was worried that I had forgotten how to do basic math and say things in Afrikaans (it has been over a year since I did either of these things). Fortunately enough there’s a little thing called Google and after a little while of testing the waters of grade 7 math, English and Afrikaans I felt ready to tutor!

I got in my car and found the house (which was huge just by the way). When I rang the buzzer the person who answered sounded a bit confused as to who I was and why I was there??? Nonetheless, they opened the gate for me and upon meeting the learner’s 9df60a4a1d1ac179771fe246726f6cbamother, I could tell that she was surprised to see me which surprised me! She told me that her son wasn’t even home and that she did not plan to meet me today! So I had just rocked up at this house ready to tutor, except there was no one there for me to tutor!

This mix-up wasn’t  the end for me as we agreed that I would start tutoring next week, and so I made my way back home. Wanna know how many times in that awkward situation I had wished I did not decide to become a tutor? Every second since I rang that buzzer!

Trying new things is really hard for me, but as you can see I am working on that. Things may seem better in your comfort zone, knowing how things may turn out and what to expect but trust me that’s no way to go about every day. In my little experience of trying new things, I’ve found that this really helps with learning more about yourself, what you like or the type of person you may be. I mean it’s obviously not a breeze walking into new things (like a tutoring job) but it’s our experiences that shape who we are and without such experiences how will we know who we are? So I’m going to work through the anxiety and stress and not give up on the things that I try!

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New Year, Same Old Me?

I’ve never been the type to ponder on about new year’s resolutions and the whole  ‘new year, new me’ spectacle. Honestly, at the beginning of this year I had absolutely no resolutions and no intentions to make any drastic changes to my life (I know, I was really girl-lazy-motivation-sleep-favim-com-2098174unmotivated!). But it turns out, the new year finds a way of creeping itself into your life and beckoning you to make some changes. It first started when I had to register for university (I’ll be starting second year in a few weeks) This kind of gave me a wake call, kicking me back into gear and showing me how many things I actually had to do! Once I managed to register and choose my subjects for the year I received my timetable (it’s quite crappy if I could just point that out). This is where my first (unplanned) new year’s resolution came into view.

And before I start listing my ‘non-new year’s resolution resolutions’ just know that they may just be the definition of cliché, so don’t say I didn’t warn you!

As I was saying my first resolution:

Getting good marks in university (not just passing this year) and managing to keep up with work!

This became my first resolution because my first year of university is where I chose to test the waters to see what university was really like, I started off last year treating it the same way as I treated high school. I assumed that it would be fine considering I did fairly well in school… oh but how wrong I was and that managed to turn around and bite me in the ass! In order to avoid this, I’ve decided to work harder this year.

Now my second resolution is even more cliché than the first (if that’s even possible) and if you haven’t figured it out already, here it is:

Join the gym (or don’t) but get fit and healthy

This one, I must admit, has been something I’ve been trying to do most of last year, and new-years-resolutions-e1450848734897sorry to disappoint but I failed countless times. It was really strange how I wasn’t getting any fitter with the crazy amount of walking that I had to do in university just getting from the car park to class in the morning (not to mention that the whole walk is uphill)! Though it may be possible that all my stress eating managed to cancel out the effects of all the walking. The good news is, I’ve already started working on this resolution! This past week I’ve been getting my yoga on doing a bit of running and I really feel a lot happier doing it. I’ll be going to a yoga studio for the next two weeks (it’s only affordable for two weeks because of new year’s specials) and after that, I’ll be joining the gym… and for real this time!

And my last resolution is more something I would like to do just for myself and for experience… which basically makes it a resolution I guess. My last resolution will therefore be:

Get a job!

Just like the gym, I’ve tried this one out last year but (just like the gym) it didn’t quite work out. Getting a job is goddamn hard! It’s hard because no one really wants a part-time student working only certain hours of certain days and those who do want students already have students hired! But this year I have a plan and that is that I am going to become a tutor (I have the number and everything) So now all I have to do is call the number, which I must admit is a lot harder to do than I expected.

It turns out that for someone who isn’t into new year’s resolutions, I have quite a few resolutions to work on (and hopefully stick to) this year!