I’m happiest in my own comfort zone. The little bubble that surrounds me and protects me from the unknown dangers of new things. I guess I do occasionally try things like that one time where I tried to learn to play the guitar or speak french. I mean I can play a few songs on the guitar and say a few things in french so it wasn’t a complete waste of my time, but I didn’t stick to them. As soon as it became too much for me, I stopped. Always making excuses such as it is too much to handle for me in between school and university.
Who isn’t scared to try new things? I know I definitely am, but I’m working on that. I’ve always been all for trying new foods but not much more than that. So now I’m trying new hairstyles … for about 6 years of my life, I had the same hairdo… long, think and most of the time bushy. After that, I decided to cut it all off! Well, not all off, just up to my shoulders but that was a big change for me! Other than my hair I am trying new styles of clothes, going to new places, being more outgoing in social situations (which I must say is one of the hardest things for me to do).
I’ve even got a job! Okay, it’s just a part-time student job which I haven’t even started yet (but it’s still something). Building up the courage to actually apply for this job (tutoring) took me about two weeks. The phone number just lay under my contact list and every few days I would open the contact, look at it and it would just stare right back. Eventually, I just went for it! I contacted the tutoring service and received an instant reply to email them my CV (which is what I did). A day or two later I was already meeting with them, and every minute since I got the message to meet them was filled with stress and anxiety. Regret was running through my head as I wished I had never applied for this job because if I hadn’t then I wouldn’t be feeling this way! Thankfully they are used to dealing with students and so our meeting was informal (which was really helpful in my state of mind). The next day I received a message saying that there was a grade 7 learner in my area that needed tutoring for English, Afrikaans and mathematics, naturally, I accepted. Soon after accepting, another wave of stress and anxiety hit me! This time I was worried that I had forgotten how to do basic math and say things in Afrikaans (it has been over a year since I did either of these things). Fortunately enough there’s a little thing called Google and after a little while of testing the waters of grade 7 math, English and Afrikaans I felt ready to tutor!
I got in my car and found the house (which was huge just by the way). When I rang the buzzer the person who answered sounded a bit confused as to who I was and why I was there??? Nonetheless, they opened the gate for me and upon meeting the learner’s mother, I could tell that she was surprised to see me which surprised me! She told me that her son wasn’t even home and that she did not plan to meet me today! So I had just rocked up at this house ready to tutor, except there was no one there for me to tutor!
This mix-up wasn’t the end for me as we agreed that I would start tutoring next week, and so I made my way back home. Wanna know how many times in that awkward situation I had wished I did not decide to become a tutor? Every second since I rang that buzzer!
Trying new things is really hard for me, but as you can see I am working on that. Things may seem better in your comfort zone, knowing how things may turn out and what to expect but trust me that’s no way to go about every day. In my little experience of trying new things, I’ve found that this really helps with learning more about yourself, what you like or the type of person you may be. I mean it’s obviously not a breeze walking into new things (like a tutoring job) but it’s our experiences that shape who we are and without such experiences how will we know who we are? So I’m going to work through the anxiety and stress and not give up on the things that I try!